I walked into a Walgreens the other day and was assaulted by an explosion of pink and red— a not-so-subtle reminder that Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and it’s time to start talking about relationships!
My husband is a clinical psychologist and we often collaborate together working with clients, offering both male and female perspectives in oder to help single individuals find love, and couples rediscover it.
People pay me a lot of money for my advice, but because I like you… I’m going to give you my very best relationship advice for free!
Are you ready???
Here it is... Look in the mirror and work on your damn self.
Since childhood, we have been fed the fantasy that one day we will be rescued from our misery and everything will be rainbows and roses... if we can just manage to find the right person, to “complete us.”
Then we get into a relationship and proceed to punish our partners for their failure to make us happy, unconsciously trying to make them as miserable as we are. We take note of all of their short-comings, mistakes, failures, flaws, and poor judgements; gathering evidence to support our case that THEY are the reason we're not happy!
Here is the truth: Nobody can make you happy but yourself. No one can complete you either.
But once you realize that you are already whole, the right romantic partner sure as hell can complement you and make your life better.
A romantic relationship magnifies what is already within us. So if we feel a baseline of joy, that joy will be magnified by a romantic partner. But if we feel unhappy, insecure, angry, anxious, depressed, etc.— you can bet a relationship is going to be gasoline poured on the fire of our pain.
A relationship is the sum of two separate parts. Therefore the health and happiness of that relationship depends primarily on the health and happiness of the two individuals within it.
The same goes for single folks. The secret to being irresistible, with the ability to attract and keep a quality partner, is to be happy with yourself. Your happiness and confidence is like a powerful force-field that draws people to you.
So, if the 80/20 of a happy relationship is a happy individual, let’s gauge just how happy and healthy you are!?
On a scale from 1-10, rate your level of satisfaction with each area of your life, with 10 being extremely satisfied:
Career:
Family:
Friends:
Fun & Recreation:
Physical Health:
Mental/Emotional Health:
Finances:
Personal Growth/Spirituality:
Now add up your score and and divide by eight.
What’s the verdict? Don’t feel bad if you have some work to do; all change starts with awareness.
Set some goals for yourself and get to work! And don’t be afraid to seek the help of a professional if you need it.
Much love,
P.S. Want some free relationship coaching? Join my husband and me as we go "LIVE" on Instagram this Sunday 1/24 at 4pm EST to answer all of your dating and relationship questions! TUNE IN HERE!
P.P.S. Do you need some help working on yourself? Check out my Fulfillment Framework online coaching program. It's a roadmap to guide you toward discovering what a fulfilling life looks like for you, and how to overcome what's holding you back from achieving it. LEARN MORE